If you know me well you know that I am a “go getter,” a planner, and an always running (not literally) in a million different directions. I like to keep my plate full. My kids plates are full and therefore so is my husband’s. We are always hosting parties, my youth girls, and from spring to fall soccer coaches from England for weeks at a time. It is very rare that a weekend comes when we do not have something to do. If it does happen for more than a day, we head to Home Depot to start a new project. We like to stay busy.

Several weeks ago Psalm 46:10 would pop up everywhere I turned.

He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
 I will be exalted among the nations,
 I will be exalted in the earth.”

Be still. I laughed out loud. Me… be still? The more it would pop into my newsfeeds, my devotionals, and then into my thoughts I realized I needed to write about it. Quickly, I questioned how I could possibly do this when I am clearly not this person.

Then I remembered being still and trusting God was all I could do when my first son was born with an undiagnosed heart defect, Hypo-plastic Left Heart Syndrome. I didn’t have the answers and I could not fix him. All I could do was trust God. I had to believe He had the very best intentions for me and my son. While in the hospital with Alex, I had no choice but to literally be still. Day in and day out I would sit next to him. There was no Facebook, Instagram, or even texting (my flip phone had to be off in ICU). Reading was too much effort. Instead I would sit there, talking to his nurse, but often I was equally content to just look at him all day long. I think this is why my memories of every detail are so vivid- I had no distractions.

I learned to be still in my worries. God was in control.

In early February 2019 I began writing our journey of loss and hope after running (check out JUST CALL ME JONAH) for 10 years. At the same time a new youth was introduced to my eGroup, Camryn. Unlike most of my girls who were invited by a friend or signed up at church, Camryn’s story begins with her mom’s obedience.

Camryn’s twin brothers have been playing soccer with my son for years so when I received a text from her mom I assumed it was about soccer. It wasn’t. Instead it was a cry for help for her daughter. We spoke for over an hour on the phone about her daughter’s eating disorder. That night I went to their home to hang out with Camryn. She did not know I knew the truth, I wanted her to have the freedom to tell me on her own terms. Over time our relationship grew and she ended up telling me everything in a journal entry she shared with me. We continued to speak regularly. Then after more time she shared with our whole group. She was changing. God was working on her heart. When she decided to share her story with our church, I was interviewed for the video (entire video here). The interviewer kept asking me if I ever felt overwhelmed when she would reach out to me. The answer was, “No.” It wasn’t because I felt like I knew what I was doing, I didn’t. It was because she already had a team of doctors helping her. More than that, because I was writing, I was in the Word daily. I was seeking Christ daily. God was giving me His words to send to her. Often times I would send her something God showed me and she would respond telling me that was exactly what she needed to hear.

I didn’t need to help her in anyway. I just needed to “be still.” In doing this, God was able to use me. I was able to hear from Him and pass it on.

Be still in my desire to help others, God is in control.

This past week, I had a “NOT FAIR!” moment at church. A Jonah moment when I wanted to flee from what was in front of me. Thankfully when I walked out of church I ran into one of my good friends, one that I can be raw with. Believe it or not but it is very difficult for me to be willing to be completely open with someone. Sharing my heart and soul is not something I do very well. So when we stepped behind the curtain and the tears came quick I knew I couldn’t hold anything back. The words spilled out of me faster than I could think. She just stood there. She listened. She heard me. Once I got it all out, I said, “Ok, I am good.” She looked at me and said, “It’s ok to take another minute.” I just laughed, “You know me! On to the next!”

She did just what God wanted me to be reminded of this week. She was still. She didn’t interject her opinions, her own emotions or experiences. She was just there. She was still.

Be still.

• Sometimes this looks like just being in the moment.
• Sometimes this looks like releasing all the anxiety and worries to an all knowing God.
• Sometimes this looks like being in His word and taking in everything you can so that God can use you.
• Sometimes this looks like being in nature.
• Sometimes this looks like stepping away from all the “busyness.”
• Sometimes this looks like just being present for someone else.

I am a work in progress and God is still working on me in this but I’m never disappointed in the things I learn when I’m just being still in Him.

What area of your life is God challenging you to be still in? What lessons have you learned when you have been still?