The room was full of people. Well dressed and eager to learn. Some were filled with hope, while others fear. Some chatted cheerfully with their neighbor, while others anxiously figetted. The presenter shifted the climate of the room with his charismatic and confident presence. He filled the room with his booming voice, “What is success?”
This is a loaded question. The answer can have multiple meanings. Last week when I posted an Instagram Story asking the question “what is success?” people said: fame, power, money, and followers.
The conference presenters defined success as MORE. More money, more followers, more cars, more houses, more, more, more. Every person appeared to be buying into this idea, except me. The idea of “more” scares me. More to me is more accountability and more responsibility. This began a day long struggle of defining “success” internally.
More often than not, the people who “appear” to be successful don’t really seem all that happy. I am not just talking about the celebrities who are stalked by paparazzi day in/out because that would be miserable. I am even talking about those who are successful in their careers.
I often wonder to myself “at what cost is their success?”
Being a lover of research I did a quick google search and found multiple articles on regrets of both those who are labeled “successful” in society and those who are just at the end of life. The most common thread was spending more time with the people they love, working less, and living in the moment more.
Last spring my children and I went through this faze where they would do or say something to earn “my favorite” spot. One would offer to help put away the groceries which I would then say, “Awe thank you. You are my favorite.” Of course this would perk the other child’s ears who would then pitch in and do something else, where I would then respond, “Awe thank you. You are my favorite.” They all knew there were no favorites, but they would do things to top the other and get the last quote from me. Sometimes this turned into “Mom, you are so beautiful.” The 5 year old would chime in with something along the lines of “Mom, you have a great forehead.” We would all laugh, because let’s be honest there is no topping that! Come to think of it I miss this. I should bring it back.
I was reminded of this when I read a similar situation between the disciples in Mark 9:33-35
33 They came to Capernaum. When he was in the house, he asked them, “What were you arguing about on the road?” 34 But they kept quiet because on the way they had argued about who was the greatest.
35 Sitting down, Jesus called the Twelve and said, “Anyone who wants to be first must be the very last, and the servant of all.”
Here the disciples were arguing about who was the greatest. I can only imagine they were listing off the reasons why they were the most successful of the disciples. Unlike my children who are doing it for my benefit, they were doing it in whispers.
Without a doubt Jesus heard them and allowed them to argue. He could have stopped it as soon as it began, but he allowed it to happen. Just like our own climb for success he will allow the choices we make to happen.
But just like the disciples, we will be held accountable.
The question we should ask ourselves is will I be ashamed when confronted? Will my reason for success be the drive for “more” or the byproduct of my choices?
I am not saying I don’t want nice things, I do. I am not saying I am not appreciative of what I have, I am. I am not saying more money would hurt, I love saving money. What I am saying is will I allow the idea of “more” to drive me?
Verse 35 Sitting down, Jesus called the Twelve and said, “Anyone who wants to be first must be the very last, and the servant of all.”
This should be my “why.” As I am currently is my season of “wait” for the publication of my book I continue to come back to my “why.” Success for me isn’t getting paid to speak all over or becoming a New York Times Best Seller. Success is having the opportunity to share hope in tragedy; hope despite all the stories we tell ourselves. Success is getting this book in the hands of doctors and nurses to hand to a mother/father when they lose a child so they know they are not alone in this very scary journey.
Success is bringing my pain into fulfilling God’s purpose.
Success for a teacher may be the “light bulb moment” or getting an email years later that says, “you inspired me to… “ or “I remembered how to … because of your class.”
Success for a parent may be the ability to provide them with all their needs. To be able to guide them through difficult times or the first phone call when they have found themselves in trouble. To watch them graduate, drive them to college, and see them accept Christ.
Success for a business career may be to climb the ladder through hard work while helping others along the way. To earn a living while giving time and tithe. To keep your integrity in the rat race.
We should all have goals we are working towards. Perhaps we just need to change the way we measure the goals.
-Instead of by the amount of money we make perhaps by how much we are able to save and give.
-Instead of by the number of followers we have perhaps the amount of quality time we spend with family and friends.
-Instead of by the power you acquire perhaps it is how you use it to serve others.
To you is success the way the world defines it or the way Christ defines it? Are you allowing the idea of “more” to drive you? Will you allow God to FILL you in your success in Him?
