Christmas is coming and soon it will be suitable to watch my favorite Christmas movie, which has become our children’s as well, Home Alone. As much as I love this movie there are two parts I’ve had a desire to change as I have become an adult. The first is the kitchen when Kevin wakes up. Have you ever noticed how prestine it is? I get it, I like a clean home to return to so I appreciate this but can we back it up a few scenes? Was there not just four adults and eleven kids running around frantically trying to avoid missing their plane? Somehow the house was left spic n span Mr. Clean? Doubtful. 

Second, is the broken ornaments under the window. Granted it would kill to step on broken glass, but I often wonder if LEGO pieces would have been equally as effective. If you have ever mistakenly stepped on a lone LEGO piece left behind, you can feel the pain in your foot as you read this. It is unmistakable and cruel. How something so small can hurt so bad is a mystery. 

Is it because it is so small or is it because it comes out of nowhere? A shocking eruption to the bottom of your foot causing you to stumble and lose footing. 

I find it is the small moments that shake me the most. It is as if in a big event I go into survival mode. I process only what is needed to survive the event and nothing else matters. 

It is when life is going well. Then out of the blue, an overheard conversation, a backstab from a friend, a co-worker taking your credit for a project.

I have this person in my life that no matter how hard I try to be nice, they always find a way to punch me where it hurts. It is always a comment or remark deliberately made to knock me down. I wish I could say that because I know it is coming I can dodge the blow. However, it is like that lone LEGO it always catches me off guard. 

A sharp pain to the heart. A trigger back to the feeling of never being good “enough,” the record that plays in my head. 

The only way I can turn down the volume is by strapping myself tight to God’s word. 

Just this week Instagram is launching the “hidden likes” in the United States. It will be interesting to see how this plays out. So much of our society is wearing the clothes of others “likes.” Posting to gain popularity and even buying followers. 

This was never a concern for me until I began immersing myself in the calling of publishing a book. Did you know that a publisher won’t even consider you unless you have 10,000 followers? Seems crazy but it is a business. They know if you have a large platform you can sell more books right out of the gate and therefore they are earning back their investment in the author. That is good business. 

Now as I publish a post each Monday and work to build my platform through social media I often struggle with the thoughts of “does this even matter?” Saturday evening, after crafting a LEGO dinosaur for my five year old, I began jotting down ideas and let out a loud sigh. My husband asked what I was working on. I replied like a perfect wife and said, “oh it is nothing sweetheart.” Just kidding, I grouchily huffed, “I am working on Monday’s blog. I don’t even know why this matters? Does anyone even read it? Ughhhh..” Then I closed my computer and went to bed. 

Like clockwork, God showed up. Yesterday morning Elevation Worship finally played the song they played over the summer for our youth during YTHX but haven’t played since. Then Pastor Steven started the new sermon series Available with Needers and Feeders and references Matthew 14 when Jesus feeds the five thousand. 

16 Jesus replied, “They do not need to go away. You give them something to eat.”
17 “We have here only five loaves of bread and two fish,” they answered.
18 “Bring them here to me,” he said. 

Do you too find yourself like the disciples? Feeling inadequate, coming up short, and unable to complete the task He is asking of you? 

I feel this way most days as a mother, especially lately wading new waters of anxiety in our five year old. I feel this way as a youth leader and never finding the time I wish I had to invest in their lives. As a wife, when I am just too tired by the end of the night.  I especially feel this way as I am navigating the self publishing world, blogging, speaking, and doing what feels impossible. 

Here is the beauty Pastor Steven opened my eyes to; I don’t need to. Yes, let me say that again. You do not need anything to accomplish the task He has placed before you. He just asks that we are available and willing. The rest we bring to Him.

Then, because I rarely listen well the first time, God showed up through Jerry Lorenzo, fashion icon, just a few hours later at our Elevation Youth Rhythm Night. I jotted down a lot of things he said in the interview.  What is still ringing in my ears as I write this is, “Don’t get so caught up in your craft that it defines your purpose when your purpose is to live for the One.” He later said, “This frees you from the weight of the outcome of what you’re doing.” 

He is right! As a mother, I am to love and care for my little people. I am to raise them up to be respectful, hardworking, and to love Jesus. If I can focus on what I can control and bring the rest to Him, I can be free of the outcome. 

So when the fighter comes at me with another punch to the gut with a comment, I can be free. 

Just like a LEGO to the bottom of the foot, the comment only hurts in the moment. 

We can choose to allow it to affect the rest of our day, evening, or week or we can be like the “Wet Bandits” and no matter what comes our way, shake it off, and continue the mission. 

You are free. You are no longer tied down to “likes” on Instagram, the negative comments of others, or even the reality of coming up short. If brought to Him to invest in the Kingdom, He will always take the little we have to feed the five thousand. 

What do you need to be freed from today? What is God asking you to just bring to Him?