“I hate you! You are the meanest mommy ever!” His eyes were wide as he yelled out the most hurtful words he could think of before falling to the ground in a fit of five year old rage.
This day was just a tantrum, a response to his inability to control. Perhaps it was the candy I would not allow him to devour for breakfast, or the shorts he wanted to wear in 30 degrees, or possibly it was a day he didn’t want to go to the bathroom before bed. You know, all the super mean things we do to our kids.
His response in such a situation is to withhold love. Even after he cools down he won’t show me love. As I chuckle about this ridiculous reaction I realize it isn’t quite so foreign.
Even perfectly sensible adults withhold love.
When a spouse is angry at the other, they may refuse to have sex, any physical touch whatsoever, or even speaking to them. When friends fight they may not only not talk to each other but may talk bad about their friend to others. As parents I can’t think of anyone who “hugs it out” with their more grown kids when they are angry with them.
In prison the worst punishment is solitary confinement. I know this because I am obsessed with watching prison shows. Most recently I watched Wentworth on Netflix. Don’t judge me. If I ever end up in an Austrilain federal prison I will survive! I see it as “research.” Although the odds are extremely low, weirder things have happened. While in prison no one ever wants to be sent to solitary. You are alone. No outside contact. No physical exercise. No fresh air. Just a common dose of insanity headed your way.
But when you have watched as many seasons as I have, you also learn solitude in prison can also be survival. If your life is threatened in the prison world, solitude can be your only chance to make it out alive.
If you are a mom, you may be thinking to yourself right now, “I could use some solitude. Another minute with these minions and I may go insane!”
My answer to you is YES! You 10000% need me time. You need solitude.
I recently was given the honor to review a new bible, Fresh Start Bible. It has been a pleasant surprise as it is filled with elaborate book introductions, commentaries sprinkled throughout (which I am the nerd that Googles), and 52 foundational lessons to name a few key parts. My favorite is the 59 lessons on God’s faithfulness. I have been clinging to this section as a mom, a wife, a teacher, a friend, and just a follower of Christ. Amidst all the “needs” of my little ones I need to be reminded it is all working for my good.
28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
I know it is cliche. But if I can’t hold on to the hope found in Romans 8 then what do I do with the fact that my son died when he was only seven weeks old from a congenital heart defect God formed him to have? What do I do with my five year old navigating general anxiety? How do even begin to handle bullying without landing myself in prison?
I find the name of the Bible, Fresh Start Bible, so incredibly fitting.
Often when I find myself seeking solitude it is because I need just that, a fresh start.
A new start to my way of thinking. A fresh start to the argument with my spouse. A new approach to handling my children. Instead of seeking the advice of all my friends, I have been coming here instead (fine, in addition to).
“We cannot know someone without talking and listening. The same is for our relationship with God.” Fresh Start Bible
So solitude I will seek. It is survival.
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