Bryan Stevenson wrote in his book Just Mercy about the freedom of an inmate from death row as “…a sign of hope in a hopeless place.” It occurred to me that so many of us feel this exact feeling right now.
No we are not sitting on death row, but our situation can certainly feel numb.
Maybe you are anxiously watching the Covid numbers climb and feel trapped inside your home navigating your own personal safety over your sanity. The hope you once had in Stay At Home orders and masks dissipating.
Maybe you feel stuck in your work/child situation. With so many schools going 100% virtual, maybe you wonder how you will find time to work and make sure your kids are doing their school. The hope you once had in going back to “2019 normal” is gone.
Maybe you have a marriage for over a decade that is slipping between your fingertips. The hope you once had for renewal has been swept out to sea.
Maybe you are being called into a new position which will result in lonely places. The hope you had for something new and exciting is turning to dread.
Maybe this is your senior year and everything you dreamed it would be is lost. The hope for a fresh start this year has dissolved.
Maybe you feel overwhelmed in a loss (friendship, a death, a job, a dream). The hope you once had for healing has been lost in the darkness.
I distinctly remember feeling every ounce of hope gone the night we walked out of Duke Medical Center for the last time. There was no late night call to “check in” with Alex’s night nurse. There was no dire exhaustion faced with anxiousness to get back to him as I lay in bed to sleep. There was no more walking into “room 2” to say, “Hey Little Man, it’s Momma.” There was no more.
When he took his last breath, he took with him all my hope.
I grapple with the idea of hope. On one hand you need hope to get out of the bed, to take one more step forward, and to just breathe. But on the other hand hope causes unraveling, insecurity, and heartbreak.
Can you imagine being the disciples? You have spent three years with Jesus witnessing miracles and healings, hearing fabulous teachings, a part of the greatest posse of all times. You have all kinds of plans for the adventures He will take you on. Here the man you have witnessed heal leprosy, calm the sea, and send demons into pigs is being put to death. You watch him being mocked, beaten, and crucified. You wonder why doesn’t he just stop all of this? Why doesn’t he get down from the cross? Why doesn’t he win?
But he doesn’t. I can only imagine in the moment of the last breath for the disciples all hope was lost.
The story doesn’t end there and neither does yours!
You know when you are at a concert and it is over. But THEN they come back on stage for one more set?!? The moment you have all been waiting for happens for the disciples too. Jesus resurrects from the dead (but not in a Pet Cemetery creepy kind of way) but in a hope is not lost for you kind of way!
Matthew 28:16 Then the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus had told them to go. 17 When they saw him, they worshiped him; but some doubted. 18 Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. 19 Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”
I can tell you with confidence He is with us always and the hopeless place you feel doesn’t have to stay that way.
There is always hope for your future, it just may look differently then what you originally planned.
