As I closed my computer from the Zoom Social Studies class I had just finished with my nephews in Michigan and my own kids I felt pretty satisfied with the end of the first day. Sure it had some rough patches but my older two kids were quickly talking through their first assignment together and it appeared to have some excitement in the air. But then I looked over at my six year old who was laying stick straight on the ground with his face firmly planted in the carpet, sobbing. 

When I asked him what was wrong, he replied, “This is not what I thought it would be.” Me either kid. 

Now as I move into week three of homeschooling I can laugh but in the moment I second guessed everything:

• Have I made a terrible mistake?
• Is this doing more harm than good?

In my heart I knew I wasn’t cut out for this. Qualified? Yes, but being fully able was in question. This was going to be HARD. If you have been reading my blog for any length of time now you probably know I’m a “runner.” However, because we had invested monetarily in the curriculum I had made a full year commitment to my husband. Did you think I’d say something spiritual here like, “I had promised God I would be obedient and so I am still homeschooling”? Well this isn’t entirely false, but sometimes I need the person next to me each morning to hold me accountable. 

You see there are some mornings as I lay in bed my conversations with God feel a bit like the Wild West. 

He is on one side and I am on the other. He is staring me down to make the first move but being the stubborn one I am, I just stare back. 

What am I waiting for, you ask? One of two things. One: for shots to be fired so I know it is not the right time to step out. Or two: For His arms to open wide so I know it is all going to work out. I can’t be the only one who prefers the puzzle box or a GPS!

In 1 Kings 17, we have Elijah show up to the scene. He tells the king who we read in 16:30 “…did what was evil in the Lord’s sight even more than the kings before him,” that there will be no rain or dew. Yikes! That is one brave soul to tell this king of a drought. Then when God instructs him to hide by Kerith Brook and eat what the ravens bring him, he does it. If it were me, I would have first asked all my friends their opinions and they would probably agree with me that I may have a screw loose. 

8 Then the Lord said to Elijah, 9 “Go and live in the village of Zarephath, near the city of Sidon. I have instructed a widow there to feed you.”

10 So he went to Zarephath. As he arrived at the gates of the village, he saw a widow gathering sticks, and he asked her, “Would you please bring me a little water in a cup?” 11 As she was going to get it, he called to her, “Bring me a bite of bread, too.”

12 But she said, “I swear by the Lord your God that I don’t have a single piece of bread in the house. And I have only a handful of flour left in the jar and a little cooking oil in the bottom of the jug. I was just gathering a few sticks to cook this last meal, and then my son and I will die.”

Can you hear the desperation in the widow’s voice? Can you feel her defeat as she says, “then my son and I will die”? I can imagine she has spent many days with her face in the ground sobbing that this is not what she thought it would be. Have you ever felt this defeated? 

Have you ever felt as if the entire world around you is collapsing and you wonder which breath will be your last? 

Me too. For me it was the soul crushing grief after losing our seven week old son, Alexander, that broke me. But just like this woman, God knew my need and sent in help. 

13 But Elijah said to her, “Don’t be afraid! Go ahead and do just what you’ve said, but make a little bread for me first. Then use what’s left to prepare a meal for yourself and your son. 14 For this is what the Lord, the God of Israel, says: There will always be flour and olive oil left in your containers until the time when the Lord sends rain and the crops grow again!”

Hold up. Say what now? Who are you again? Did you not just hear me? This is ALL I have! 

I feel this way right now. This is all the patience I have. This is all the willpower I have. This is all I can give. This is all I am able to do. How can I give you my all?

She could have easily said no. She could have said, “my son is more important.” 

How guilty are you to have inserted “son” with something else: job, spouse, income, house, friends, success, hobby, or just about anything can go here. 

How many times have we said “no” to an opportunity of a blessing from God? 

15 So she did as Elijah said, and she and Elijah and her family continued to eat for many days. 16 There was always enough flour and olive oil left in the containers, just as the Lord had promised through Elijah.

So she did… always enough… just as the Lord had promised through Elijah.

Always enough… 
Isn’t it funny how it doesn’t say extra or abundance but instead says, “enough.” I personally have to reflect hard on this. 

Am I more concerned with God providing enough or am I asking for abundance?

Just as the Lord had promised through Elijah…
God sends us people in our season of need. Sometimes it is a specific person, even a stranger. But he can also use people to send us a podcast, a song, or even a Bible verse. 

So stop pushing people away in your time of need, and open your eyes to the blessing coming your way.

So she did…
She had to step out in faith. Trust this stranger and God. She has to believe. 

All of it happened because she did.

In the morning as I lay in bed envisioning the Wild West, I stare at God and nod as I make the first step. Because if I don’t move, I won’t know just how good homeschooling, writing, or releasing my first two books together will be. 

Yes, you read it right! There is a second book to be released with the first. Until now, I have been scared to put these words in writing, but now it is happening, and So She Did. 

What, dear friend, is God calling you to take the first step in?