I really despise, “I told you so.” Someone doesn’t have to directly say it, but the smirk on their face reveals it all. And yet, I really enjoy being on the end where I am right. Is it weird that I wonder how often God sits up there thinking, “I told you so” ?
Maybe it is just me, but I am constantly pulled between two thoughts:
- I need to trust God will provide ________ (fill in the blank).
- God gave me a brain so I can make it work out.
Sadly I error on the second thought, especially when I feel like I can DO something to “help God.”
This past week I was hit with a big fat, “I told you so.” If you have been following me for any length of time you know I have a small obsession with control and planning. Therefore it should be no surprise to you when I ordered the two different books I needed in advance for a book signing. The book order for Forever A Momma arrived before Christmas while the second order (made only four minutes after the first order) was still “in print.” I wasn’t worried until two weeks before the event. I reached out to customer service with no true “answer” to my dilemma. One week before the event I reached out again, with still no “answer.” With all the patience I could muster I prayed to God in which He reminded me He has this taken care of.
Just kidding, I panicked. I fretted how I would show up to a book event without the main book, HOPE. Two weeks before the event I was nervous, but trusting that God had this. One week away and I was no longer in this mindset. Instead I had moved into I must help God mode, because CLEARLY He needed me. I called the bookstore who had 5 copies and then I went where everyone goes to buy the thing they need quickly… Amazon. We could Prime ourselves four copies. I called my neighbor and had her do the same. Thirteen copies was nowhere near the 40 copies, but better than zero copies.
You know what happened next? The weather began to predict snow and ice. For those of you who live where snow occurrences is a regular thing, you may be reading over this sentence and not worried at all. But here in North Carolina when Brad Panovich says snow, people run to the store and buy all the bread and milk like toilet paper in a Covid lockdown.
In the middle of all this worry, I have begun a women’s study with my eGroup (my church’s small group) and this week was all about Sarah (Sarai) in Genesis. Perhaps you are like me and this is a story you are familiar with, oh but wait, you are about to see an “I told you so.”
God gives Abraham a promise in Genesis 13:15-16
15 All the land that you see I will give to you and your offspring forever. 16 I will make your offspring like the dust of the earth, so that if anyone could count the dust, then your offspring could be counted.
As well as in Genesis 15:15
15 You, however, will go to your ancestors in peace and be buried at a good old age.
As a child I was the girl that played with babies and Barbies until sixth grade and then I began to babysit for real babies. Having children was my dream, so if I were Sarah I would be ecstatic of God’s promise.
Sarah was ecstatic, but as time passed, she wondered if she was barron. I imagine she began to question if they heard it right, perhaps a little “did God really say” moment. So she “helped God” by interpreting His word to be something it wasn’t meant to be and …
Genesis 16 Now Sarai, Abram’s wife, had borne him no children. But she had an Egyptian slave named Hagar; 2 so she said to Abram, “The Lord has kept me from having children. Go, sleep with my slave; perhaps I can build a family through her.”
Abram agreed to what Sarai said. 3 So after Abram had been living in Canaan ten years, Sarai his wife took her Egyptian slave Hagar and gave her to her husband to be his wife. 4 He slept with Hagar, and she conceived…
Now I think we can all guess how this turns out. How often have you too said something to your husband in the moment only to realize after it was too late that it was not really what you wanted? I hope it was not something as serious as this, but instead was a “nothing is wrong” when we all know there is something wrong and he better figure out how to fix it. Why are we so crazy sometimes?
…When she knew she was pregnant, she began to despise her mistress. 5 Then Sarai said to Abram, “You are responsible for the wrong I am suffering. I put my slave in your arms, and now that she knows she is pregnant, she despises me. May the Lord judge between you and me.”
Yes, you read that right. Sarai (Sarah) is now blaming her husband. Sounds about right. The result of her “helping God” led to frustration, anger, jealousy, and I imagine a lot of sadness.
Have you ever wondered why a bird will randomly pelt into your window? From their vantage point it was clear. Sarah hit the window. It had all appeared “clear” to her but she soon realized it wasn’t the right way.
Guys, I am the bird and I smacked into the glass of my own desires.
The event I told you about, well we rescheduled due to forecasted snow and ice. Despite the hour by hour prediction, the snow flurried for about 30 minutes. Then guess what arrived at my door that afternoon? Yep, you guessed it, the forty books of HOPE.
I don’t know what you are fretting over.
I don’t know what you are worried about.
I don’t know what you are trying to rush on your own timeline.
But if God promised it, He will see it through.
Spoiler alert: Sarah did have a baby. She was 90 years old (no thank you!) but God did keep his promise even though she tried to “help.”
Thank God for keeping promises even when we mess things up along the way!
