When I met my husband he was fresh out of the military, just released from a long term relationship, and living with his grandparents. With his bad boy reputation carried from high school he was the perfect candidate for a “summer fling” and just what I thought I needed. Little did I know, our first unofficial date would be straight out of a Nicholas Sparks book.
We grew up in a summer beach town on Lake Michigan. The summers transform into a magical fairytale of beach days, sunsets, the famous hot dog stand with the best Chicago style hot dogs and ice cream from the quaint downtown, all surrounded with the perfect weather.
When I think of Michigan summer’s I am still transformed into what feels like the sweet towns on Sweet Magnolia’s or Heart of Dixie.
Therefore when I met Brandon downtown that night for a quick visit, I never dreamed we would then walk the brick streets down to the pier leading out where the river and lake collide. The night air was sweet, the stars were out, and a full moon reflected off the water. At the end of the pier was not only a man playing an acoustic guitar and singing but in the water a boat was all lit up with lights; hey Nicholas Sparks are you taking notes for your next novel? When we decided to sit down I began to panic internally. I did not want to come across as prissy but I was wearing WHITE LINEN pants and it was dark so who knows what I was about to sit in. This guy took off his shirt, well played, for me to sit on. Not only was he a gentleman, but he looked good without his shirt. Win:win. Listening to the music and talking lead to the inevitable first kiss. Let me tell you, I am pretty sure fireworks also went off in the night sky that night at that very moment.
It didn’t take long for Brandon to introduce me to his grandparents and before long, we were spending a lot of time there hanging out with them. They were a hoot and a complete joy to be around. I credit this summer fling transforming into something more to Brandon’s Grandma. Not only did she help me realize, he was much more than his reputation by watching his interaction with them but she told Brandon, “you better not hurt her.”
This past winter our family had to say good-bye to our Super Grandma. She earned this new nickname in December by my five year old when he said she isn’t a great grandma, she is a Super Grandma. Honestly he couldn’t be more correct.
You know when you have the person who will tell it like it is, even when it is hard to hear, but does it in such a way you are willing to listen?
This is Super Grandma. Over the course of 15 years, our relationship grew closer and closer. We would speak usually once a week and our conversations would usually consist of catching me up on all the drama of the retirement park, it was like a soap opera and I personally knew many of the characters. But once in a while, she would tell it like it is.
King David had Nathan.
Nathan wasn’t waiting for another failure to inject his perspective on what David cold do better.
Nathan wasn’t spouting his opinions on FB in hopes David would see.
Nathan wasn’t “Karen.”
In a world full of “Karen’s,” King David was lucky to have Nathan.
Nathan didn’t just come out of the gate accusing David of the wrongs he was clearly guilty of. Instead he waited for God to give him the right moment and he told David a story.
2 Samuel 12:1 The Lord sent Nathan to David. When he came to him, he said, “There were two men in a certain town, one rich and the other poor. 2 The rich man had a very large number of sheep and cattle, 3 but the poor man had nothing except one little ewe lamb he had bought. He raised it, and it grew up with him and his children. It shared his food, drank from his cup and even slept in his arms. It was like a daughter to him.
4 “Now a traveler came to the rich man, but the rich man refrained from taking one of his own sheep or cattle to prepare a meal for the traveler who had come to him. Instead, he took the ewe lamb that belonged to the poor man and prepared it for the one who had come to him.”
David’s reaction was just as Nathan expected.
5 David burned with anger against the man and said to Nathan, “As surely as the Lord lives, the man who did this must die! 6 He must pay for that lamb four times over, because he did such a thing and had no pity.”
What David has not realized yet, was he had been given the kingdom. He has been blessed with wives and riches. He was King David and yet he took from one of his own soldiers, Uriah by sleeping with his wife, Bethsheba. (I wrote about this also in Shame: Satan’s Lie).
7 Then Nathan said to David, “You are the man!
I can only imagine David’s face in this moment as he realizes he IS the man in this story. Then Nathan continues for five more verses on the consequences of his sin for his family. You really need to read the rest of this story if you don’t know where it goes, and these are the days of David’s life (said in the narrator’s voice for Days of Our Lives. Go ahead and reread it in that voice.You know you want to.)
How do you respond when someone calls you out on your mistake? Do you deny, deny, deny? Do you blame someone else or your circumstances? Why is it these are the two most natural responses? But now we also post about it on Facebook to let others know why we are right as well. Sometimes we may even put down the accuser; need to cover every angle so we can remain innocent. David could have blamed Bathsheba for seducing him. Maybe she was just in it for the money or the fame? David could have spoken poorly on Uriah manifesting a story on how horrible of a husband he was.
But David surprises us and pleads with God. He doesn’t lash out on Nathan, but goes straight to God. David even writes about this in Psalm 51 and describes himself as broken.
17 My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart
you, God, will not despise.
Can you relate with David’s brokenness?
I am not always the best at taking criticism.
In fact, I tend to not react like David. However when Super Grandma would bring to my attention my wrongs, I would always react like David. It isn’t because I wouldn’t feel shame or guilt, of course I would. It was because I respected the person telling me.
With Super Grandma gone I am realizing she isn’t the only “Nathan” in my life, but I am lucky enough to have several. These are the friends we need. Friends who care enough to come to us with the things we can do better. Friends that listen, guide, and communicate.
But we can’t have “Nathan’s” if we aren’t willing to be a “Nathan” to others. I want to challenge you, who can you be a “Nathan” for? Ask God to help show you not only this relationship but what needs to be said. Being a Nathan isn’t pointing out everything (then you would be “Karen”) but sharing when God has guided you with the right words and moment.
Super Grandma since one of your favorite shows was Golden Girls, I want to thank you for being a friend. Miss you everyday.
