Most of us hide the things we don’t want others to see or notice. I am not just talking about makeup, sunglasses, and baggy clothes. No, we use exercise to conceal the flaws we see but in our own eyes never really go away. We run to escape the things we are too afraid to face. Our social media posts are filtered and perfectly posed. My personal favorite cover up, laughter.
But here is the truth: I am genuinely happy.
Of course there are events, seasons, and diagnoses that have occurred in my life that certainly left me overwhelmed, depressed, and drowning in doubt. Parts of me died when my son took his last breath and other parts of me have crumbled under the weight of our youngest’s struggles with anxiety.
Most days you will meet me and never knot the scars I carry. Not because these do not have an impact on my daily life, but because of what I choose to do with it.
Today is Easter Monday and although many American’s do not celebrate, the Roman Catholic Church takes the day to somberly reflect on Easter. I personally think it is essential. Sunday is spent with Easter baskets, church, egg hunts, cooking a big dinner that there is little time to “be in my feelings”. We hear the Easter message year after year and although the message never changes, our own experiences bring new light to how amazing He really is.
Anxiety, job loss, death, grief, diagnosis, disease, miscarriage, heartbreak, and the list can go on for all the things that keep us in the grave.
These are the things that bury us so deep it can feel almost scary to find a breath. We can feel completely overwhelmed and betrayed by God himself. I can relate to Jesus crying out in Matthew 27
45 From noon until three in the afternoon darkness came over all the land. 46 About three in the afternoon Jesus cried out in a loud voice, “Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?” (which means “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”).
Can you relate? Have you ever felt completely abandoned by God? A prayer that wasn’t answered. A diagnosis that turned your life upside down. A teenager who turned away from their faith. A husband who walked out the door. A child who died in your arms.
After a year of so much loss, it is easier to feel stuck in the grave. But despite Jesus feeling abandoned on the cross, He completed the overall plan to save mankind and for this I am so thankful.
You see, because of Him, I can smile. In Luke 24 we see His words come to fruition.
24 On the first day of the week, very early in the morning, the women took the spices they had prepared and went to the tomb. 2 They found the stone rolled away from the tomb, 3 but when they entered, they did not find the body of the Lord Jesus. 4 While they were wondering about this, suddenly two men in clothes that gleamed like lightning stood beside them. 5 In their fright the women bowed down with their faces to the ground, but the men said to them, “Why do you look for the living among the dead? 6 He is not here; he has risen! Remember how he told you, while he was still with you in Galilee: 7 ‘The Son of Man must be delivered over to the hands of sinners, be crucified and on the third day be raised again.’ ” 8 Then they remembered his words.
Throughout the Bible we see glimpses of what was to come, but just like in our own lives it doesn’t make sense when we are smack dab in the middle.
If you are stuck in the grave currently, I want to remind you a resurrection is coming for you because He already took care of it for us!
There is hope in knowing my grave doesn’t mean it is over. My son’s diagnosis doesn’t mean my dreams for him are over. A job loss in your dream job doesn’t mean this is the end. My first son’s loss in this life doesn’t mean I will not see him again.
Because of the sacrifice of Jesus, there is more for me and for you.
